Friday, July 29, 2016

This is Just the Beginning


The ending of a chapter has fallen upon me, but I know that the next one is going to be just as fruitful as the last. Before I leave however, I wanted to share with you the things that have stuck with me from this internship:

You are not just an intern when you come to Gladney’s internship program. When you walk through the doors to be a part of this workplace, you become part of the family that is Gladney. People take time to know you, to encourage you, to celebrate with you, and to help you grow. There is not a doubt in my mind that you become a part of the team fully when you intern here. You will be lucky if you find such a loving and uplifting workplace aside from Gladney. (I am positive they’re out there, I am just biased.J)

Don’t be shy, MAKE FRIENDS!! Of all of the struggles Jesus could have given me, I got the socially awkward one (among many other goofy quirks that make me uniquely and wonderfully made), so believe me, I get how hard it is to just put yourself out there. However, one of the things I have loved about my internship is the friendships I have made or grown over the summer. I met many amazing young women interning with me who all have such beautiful gifts that make them blossom in this field. I will genuinely miss seeing each of them and getting to know their hearts. But one of the things that make interning here so comfortable is that the employees here are just as spirit filled and loving. They don’t bite, so get to know their friendly faces as well; they’ll be great role models to grow with!

Passion blossoms into advocacy. I got a star from last month’s staff meeting (they’re like warm and fuzzies/encouragement notes) and I was called something I never really thought about; an advocate. When I think of an advocate, I think of someone in the front lines fighting for a cause; I certainly don’t think of me. But when I think further, I think of Gladney employees being exactly that and I am humbled to be considered along with them, a fighter for my passion; adoption. Watching through shadowing opportunities, I have seen countless moments where Gladney employees have advocated for children, birth parents, and adoptive parents. To even be a part of what this organization daily arms up for, leaves me in awe. So remember, you are an advocate, a champion, a supporter, a fighter Creating Bright Futures through Adoption! Never think that anything you do is not helping the cause. J

There are three perspectives that create the identity of adoption. As an adoptee and a birth mom, I came into this internship understanding the bittersweet, the joyful, and the pain. I knew a little of the perspective of what the adoptive parents go through, from hearing my parents tell me about their experience adopting my sister and I, but after getting to sit in on Domestic Orientation and Pathways Training, I got to witness some of these amazing couples’ hearts and stories. I truly believe that being an adoptive parent is a calling, and that these people want nothing more than to give a child an abundantly opportune life filled with love. But I was reminded that it is not an easy path. It is a waiting game full of emotions and these couples drudge through that waiting season because they already love that child they haven’t even met or been matched with yet. These children are so desired and loved by all of the people that come into play during their adoption journey.

The birth mothers that work with Gladney are not forgotten, they are just as important as any other client. I have watched so many people share the beauty and strength of the birth mothers they have been blessed to know. Not only are the employees raving about how amazing birth mothers are, but the adoptive parents that I met during small groups in the Domestic Orientation, love that Gladney gives support to birth moms. They want to uplift and encourage these women because they adore birth moms. I cannot speak for all of the birth moms in the world, but I can speak as a birth mom and say that the stigma of birth moms is not the reality and that people like Gladney employees are making the positive movement a reality. Birth moms are selfless, strong, and beautiful and I am proud of what my sisters-through-adoption stand for.

I grew up with a lot of adoptees and I have been blessed to get to know some incredible Gladney babies during my internship that have reminded me how beautiful the culture of adoption is from the perspective of an adopted child. Adoption is a legacy that adoptees are proud to declare. Knowing as you grow up that you were adopted creates this positive outlook on birth moms, family, and a genuine understanding of what love REALLY looks like.  Hearing an adoptee tell their story almost always has the same underlying passionate theme, they are loved and they are so thankful for the life their birth mother selflessly gave them. Every story is filled with its own details, but that’s what makes adopted children so uniquely wonderful. Every child deserves a future family and every child deserves to have an inextinguishable joy created by adoption.

You get what you pour out. In other words, this experience will be whatever you make of it. The tools are all accessible to you and there are SO many people who will help you along the way, you just have to gear up and venture out. I came into this internship with one expectation, to grow. I am now coming out with clarity of what I want to do with my degree, professional confidence, friendships, memories, a new diet plan thanks to all of the free food (but seriously…), and so much more. Gladney has impacted my life through this summer in ways I never thought were possible in just 8 weeks. So don’t be afraid to ask people if they have any time to show you what they do, ask people if they need help with anything, and when you’re thrown a project that you have no idea how to do, be honest that you don’t know how to do that YET, but you WILL learn.


Lastly, enjoy every moment, because all good things must temporarily come to an end. If you are like me, your last day will be filled with bittersweet emotions because you just don’t want to leave yet. So when you are feeling bummed that you have to leave this organization you fell in love with, remember that it's never goodbye here at Gladney. If you want to be here, there are so many ways to fulfill that desire through volunteering, advocating, or even working here and I truly hope that not only Gladney, but that the Adoption world will forever have a piece of your heart.

By Katie Reisor
 Gladney birth mom, adoptee, and intern

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

One of Four

I’m ten out of forty fingers, four out of sixteen arms and legs, two out of eight little eyeballs, and one out of four kids that make up my generation of the Twomey family. My oldest sibling is 21, my youngest is 18, and my sister and I are 20. My parents had four kids under the age of four at one point in their lives. No, that wasn’t always the plan. And yes, we’re all so glad it worked out this way—I know my siblings and parents would say the same.

I want to back up for a second, though, and share with you how I became one of four. My oldest brother, Paul, was adopted by my parents in 1994. I was then adopted in 1996. Two days after my homecoming to New Jersey, and just twelve days after I was born, my mom gave birth to my sister, Laura. Then, in 1997, my parents had my little brother, Mark.

Four kids, three years, two adoptions, one miraculous family.


I do have to admit that the only thing better than having three siblings is having an amazing set of parents to lovingly steer us in the right direction, especially when they committed to teaching each one of us how to drive a motor vehicle. It takes a special kind of someone to take on planes, trains, and automobiles with four children in tow (we can say with pride that it's doable)! My parents have always been ready to take on whatever we have given them, including managing our extra-curricular activities, spending quality time with each one of us, and fifteen years of consecutive school graduations.

Our house was chaotic 99.99% of the time. This was mostly due to the amount of fun we were having as a family, such as our weekly game nights and nightly family dinners. We definitely spilled a lot of milk and broke a lot of dishes, and the combined energy of the four of us shook the walls. But the amount of love we poured into each other then, and still pour into each other now, goes to show just how awesome it is to be one of four. My three siblings are my three best friends, and our parents are my heroes. 

I think every sibling group of four (or less or more) deserves to live a life with the kind of love I have experienced in my family. At Gladney, we currently have sibling groups of four waiting to find their forever homes. If you or anyone you know is considering growing your family through adoption, and are open to the idea of a sibling group of any size, I encourage you to reach out to Gladney by emailing Beth Whitacre, our Intercountry Adoption Caseworker, at Beth.Whitacre@gladney.org

Feel free to share this post or leave a comment to be an adoption advocate for the sibling groups of four (and less and more) we are working so hard to find homes for! If you want to get involved by working with Gladney, click here to see our available job, volunteer, and intern opportunities. We would love for you to reach out!



By: Margot Twomey
International Adoption Intern

Friday, July 8, 2016

Pathways Training

My day started out just like any other day; It was 7:30am, and I was quietly minding my own business, studying for my summer government class at Starbucks, when a small child came up to me and started dancing. I smiled at her, said hello, and went back to my studies. However, she didn’t leave, and she didn’t stop “whipping.” It was actually pretty cute. Eventually, her mother gently guided her away from my table with a very apologetic look in her eyes. I studied for a little while longer, and around 8:15am realized I needed to get to work. Naturally, I decided to leave the coffee shop at the same time as my new little friend. As I’m packing up she starts asking me a bunch of questions. “What’s your name? How old are you? What are you doing today? What are you doing this summer?” I told her, “My name’s Margot, I’m 20, I work at the adoption agency down the street, and today I’m going to go sit in on a parenting class for moms and dads who want to adopt kids.” She said, “Okay well have fun!” and hopped into her mother’s car.

I got into my car and thought to myself, how much fun can I really have in a two day long training for soon-to-be adoptive parents? I mean, I’m twenty years old, and definitely not looking to become a parent any time soon. But even just ten minutes into the training, I realized how important it is to understand children who have been through trauma, even if you’re not going to be the one parenting them. After the entire thing, I was very glad my supervisor gave me the opportunity to experience Pathways.

In this activity, one person read instructions to a blindfolded
searcher while everybody else in the room was being as loud
and distracting as possible.
Our post adoption team did a phenomenal job. I listened to personal stories of adoption, and I learned a lot. I learned about the effects of neglect, abuse, and sexual abuse. I learned about both adult and child attachment styles, the growing brain, how parents can be healers, and even did hands-on activities concerning children’s different sensory needs. I learned about how much goes on inside the mind of a child that we simply just cannot see, but need to learn how to look for. And I already knew this one, but it was reiterated in my brain that every kid out there has hope. Every single child, no matter their past, has the capacity to rewire their brain pathways to give them a better future. I’d say that was my biggest takeaway from the day. I’m working with so many kids who society would look at and categorize “unadoptable” based on their pasts, when in reality, beyond a shadow of a doubt, they’re all adoptable. With the right help, every one of them can create new pathways, no matter what they’ve been through. It may not be a walk in the park, but it’s possible.

The families who came were so nice, and seemed to really absorb what the team was saying, even if they had originally been underwhelmed by the prospect of a two-day long parenting class. I spoke to a couple families throughout the training who were not the least bit hesitant to ask their questions! By the end of the training, I think every family felt as though Pathways was worth it, whether they were planning on adopting a domestic infant or an international sixteen year old.

And, to conclude, I want to give a HUGE shoutout to Angie for putting together all the food (this wouldn't be a true Gladney blog post if I didn't mention food at least once)! We had Mexican for lunch the first day, and barbecue the second. The snacks were awesome as well—bagels and cream cheese, carrots and hummus, belvita crackers, you name it! Thanks Angie!!! 



By: Margot Twomey
International Adoption Intern


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If you have any questions about adoption, know someone facing an unplanned pregnancy, are considering adoption yourself, or just want to get involved and/or educated on the subject, please don’t hesitate to contact Gladney. We would love to talk to you!

Find out how you can become a Gladney intern or volunteer here. We currently have Summer 2016 internship openings in Accounting, IT, and Marketing.